So lets start with the BIG news............. About a month and a half ago, DH and I found out we were expecting...... Last news I ever thought I would be posting I can guarantee.... As you may or may not know, I am very infertile. Both my daughters were conceived on Clomid. On many rounds of Clomid and depressing months of big fat negatives. To be honest, after 5 rounds with the last one, we were ready to give up and the test finally showed up positive!!!! We were happy. Plus doctors said that chemotherapy and radiation would void any hope of further children. We were OK with that, we have 2 beautiful girls, and to top this all off, we were using condoms as extra precaution.... So, you can all imagine the huge curveball that has been thrown at us to start with. Had an ultrasound about 3 weeks ago and baby is doing well and healthy. Very good news... Now as to if we can keep it???? Still up in the air, so positive thoughts and prayers are being requested.... In the department of chemotherapy and radiation, it has been enough time. But with today's new info, we are not sure...Doctor called me today to say biopsy results were in and contrary to what Toronto "assumed" the tumor is not dead...... It is alive and active.... Big punch in the gut there... They are unsure if this type of cancer is hormone sensitive as research has never been done on it due to the fact that children don't get pregnant and have an overflow of hormones, so they do not know if the tumor will start to grow faster or not, I guess we are on a watch and wait....... Argh! You can not believe how frustrated I am with Toronto and the fact that I feel like they are using me as a guinea pig.... How dare they assume things... The only reason the biopsy was done, was because when they told me that they wanted to take me off the narcotics I told them that it would not work because I am still in severe pain. So when I told them that they said that they decided to do more testing "in case" the tumor was still active..... Now Toronto is going back to the drawing board and suggesting and looking into surgery. I am seriously contemplating getting a second opinion, because at this point I feel like I have no reason to trust anything they have said or done.... I realize I am a rare case, but shouldnt they be covering all their bases? And not assuming things????? Anyways.... We are currently at 11 weeks gestation with an expected due date of August 24th.... One week after Princess Megan's birthday.... Lots of big changes happening for is.. maybe a 3rd child.... Kyra will be starting school in September. Possible surgery and maybe even chemo... Who knows what the future holds but seriously praying that things start falling into place and that 2013 is nocer to me than 2012.
Wishing all of you peaceful and happy times and trust me when I say this, never ever miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.....Look at my situation its rough and when people tell me thry love me it definitely helps me get through the day.. Hopefully i can get my mind to shut off and get some rest.